squidwurd:

let’s go all the way tonight  no regrets just love

squidwurd:

let’s go all the way tonight
no regrets just love

otisthecorgi:

Can’t…reach…toy…too…far…and…lazy…

humansofnewyork:

"My friend came up to me and said: ‘Alfredo! There’s some guy over there jerking off in front of women and kids.’ So I ran up to this guy, and I said: ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing? Put your shit back in your pants and get the fuck out of the park!’ And he stood up, and he got in my face, and he started to say: ‘Fuck you!’ But after he said ‘fuck,’ and before he said ‘you,’ I clocked him right in the face and knocked him out. When the cops came, I told them the story, and they said: ‘You better get out of here before the boss gets here.’ So I left the park, but this guy’s tooth was lodged in my hand. And he had some sort of infection. Cause two days later, my legs swell up like balloons, and I’ve barely been able to walk since."

humansofnewyork:

"My friend came up to me and said: ‘Alfredo! There’s some guy over there jerking off in front of women and kids.’ So I ran up to this guy, and I said: ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing? Put your shit back in your pants and get the fuck out of the park!’ And he stood up, and he got in my face, and he started to say: ‘Fuck you!’ But after he said ‘fuck,’ and before he said ‘you,’ I clocked him right in the face and knocked him out. When the cops came, I told them the story, and they said: ‘You better get out of here before the boss gets here.’ So I left the park, but this guy’s tooth was lodged in my hand. And he had some sort of infection. Cause two days later, my legs swell up like balloons, and I’ve barely been able to walk since."